I reflect on the killing of Charlie Kirk—not to debate his politics, but to examine our reactions. Why do so many of us feel selective empathy, dismissing the pain of others? From my own conflicted response to the larger tribalism shaping our society, I explore how moments like this force us to ask: Who are we, and who do we want to become?
I just had to share some thoughts that I've had
about the
shooting and
killing of of Charlie Kirk
and I've taken a few days
because I really wanted to think about this
because a man's life was taken
and I think all life is sacred and we have to honor it
and so I didn't want to just come out with something
I mean
I think we all have lots of different thoughts on this
I wanna share something I've observed
not in him
but in how people have responded to his death so
and how I I responded
and admittedly I
it's a mixed bag so I
I just wanna kind of
analyze those feelings that we're all going through and
you know what can we learn from this about ourselves
and how can we be better people
I've seen a few general responses
like there's one response
mostly coming from people on the
liberal side of the political spectrum
that
generally says he deserved this
he preached hate he preached violence
and that was his end and they point out how
you know the people who
who followed him the people who loved him
express so much remorse for his death
and they point out
but they have no empathy for those children dying in in
in Palestine in
in Gaza specifically
and then I see
people on the other side of the political spectrum
Republicans, conservatives
who point out that you know
you guys
you have to look in your heart
if you don't have empathy for this man's death
can you really call yourself a human being
and these these these
these same people who are showing empathy for
for Charlie Kirk do not you know
show empathy for the children in Gaza
and so why is this happening right
but before I get into that
I wanna look at my own response because
it's not something I'm very proud of
my initial reaction
I would call it restrained jubilation
this guy preached hate and
there's a certain poetic irony to how he met his end
but then I caught myself it's like
especially when I saw the video
it's one thing to hear that he was killed
seeing him get shot was shocking
and it really put things back in perspective for me
because
I may not like this man
but
shooting him like a like an animal
it it really hit me hard too
it was difficult to watch
it really hurt to to see the depravity
to see how low we can sink right
no matter how much I may hate what he has to say
he was spewing ignorance in my opinion
he was spewing ignorance
and the cure for ignorance is knowledge
not a bullet
I hope
any of us should feel free to speak our mind freely
and not have to worry about being shot
not worry about being killed because of our thoughts
if we don't like what somebody has to say
respond to them
go you start speaking about what you believe
that's the answer
but when we respond and we feel this jubilation
this even if it's a restrained jubilation
for the death of another human being
we have to look inside ourselves and think
what's going wrong
and that's really what I want to concentrate on today
you know why are these
there are these dramatically different responses
why is there this selective empathy
because both sides point this out
people on the right point out that the left oh
you have selective empathy
people on the left point out to the right oh
you have selective empathy
and the truth is we all have selective empathy
and it's not a good thing
and there's one I see one cure for that
why do I think we have this selective empathy
I believe it comes from this increasing tribalism that
that we're all falling victim to
my side versus your side us versus them
this mentality breeds this kind of behavior
and what happened to me is
I caught myself in the midst of that
I was like you know
I also lacked empathy for someone
I disagreed with I I felt some joy in their side
losing someone
and that is for me
I found myself being disgusted
I found myself you know
especially when I watched the video
it's like this is not right
this is not right so what
what stopped me what stopped me are my values
you know this is something
I've tried
to live my life according to a certain set of values
and judge myself according to those values
and correct myself when I fall outside of those values
and I I worry for us as a society
it
the fact that we do have this selective empathy
means that
all of us are losing our sense of right and wrong
good and evil and it
it calls for some real introspection
I don't wanna litigate Charlie Kirk or his beliefs now
everybody has their opinions
but one thing he talked about was
my tribe my group are right
and everybody else is wrong
and that's what he dedicated his life to
explaining what he believed
his worldview
and then arguing with everybody who disagreed with him
making them look stupid making them look ridiculous
there wasn't this process of
you know let me truly learn from you and
you know maybe you'll learn from me
he says those words
but he actually doesn't act on those words
which does say something about us
it it does indicate that human beings
for all our shortcomings
for all the shortcomings in this
like I said this
this tribalism that we're
we're really falling victim to today
we have to rationalize our side according to values
right we'll say
you guys have no empathy
therefore we have empathy
right and
and and it goes both
it's going both ways
each side sees the other side is not having empathy
not having compassion not having understanding
and it's true both sides are right
each side has empathy and understanding for their side
but they don't have empathy and understanding
for the other side
but then they rationalize that they're right
because the other side is wrong
because the other side is wrong
we're right
this thinking that if the other side is wrong
then I have to be right
that that's flawed logic
you know the other side be
can be wrong and you can be wrong
the other side can be right
and you can be right
you could just be looking at the same situation
from different perspectives
and so there's this false thinking going on and
and that's kind of what I wanna get into next which is
if we want to overcome this there's there's
there's values that we live by
but then there's also this internal balance
we have a very emotional part to ourselves that
that feels a visceral reaction
so I felt two visceral reactions
the first was this man who I disliked dying
being taken away
through violent means that he himself espoused
then when I saw him how he died
there was another visceral reaction
and then my mind had to reconcile all these feelings
all these thoughts and so I used values to
to wade through
these feelings these thoughts
in the end I
I concluded like the
he's a human being he didn't deserve this
it is life it is sacred
that's my belief
I hope we take some time to really look inside
to do some introspection
to really understand who we are at at
at this time and who do we want to be going forward
because the kind of world we're in right now
is one that Charlie Kirk himself was advocating for
he he specifically said I
he does not believe in empathy
he doesn't believe in empathy
and that seems to be the world
we're creating
and if we really truly despise what this man stood for
then I think we really need to make it a point to
understand
ourselves
understand
are we more like him than we care to admit
are we really
maybe we're just the other side of that coin
of that anti empathy coin that says
I have empathy for my side
but not not
not for those who I disagree with
not for those who are who are racist
or or support racists
or are intolerant or support people who are intolerant
because what I've realized is
you know
I may dislike him because he's advocating these things
because he knows better
at least that's what I'm assuming
but the people who follow him have real grievances
I'm Muslim I'm Circassian
my my my
my parents and grandparents immigrated to this country
but another part of my background is rural
upstate New York people who feel forgotten
who feel disenfranchised who feel
feel like the world really doesn't care about them
and so here are these people who come along and say
you know what you're not evil
the world criticizes White Christians but
we're not that bad you know
we built the society that people come to
our ancestors built the society that
that people come to fleeing their own
their own you know
ethnic and religious groups
so where's all this criticism coming from
and I think we need to be more empathetic
I think we need to be more understanding
not of people like us not of people who agree with us
but people who disagree with us
people who even are outright hostile towards us
because there's something there
there's a pain there's a trauma
there's there's something going on in their life that
that is causing them to be angry
it's easy to look at the other
and only see the negative
but those people taught me right from wrong
you know rural upstate
New York taught me how to be a moral
good person so when I see rural people
you know I don't see evil
the vast majority of all these groups I belong to
are good they are good people
and often many of them are traumatized
and what's happening is
we're taking out our traumas on each other
we're taking out our fears and angers on each other
and that's why I really don't like leaders
like Charlie Kirk because they focus our our
our trauma our energy on hating the other
on mistrusting the other on
on on
on making the other evil and us good
and the world isn't that simple
and in in painting ourselves as victims
and others as evil perpetrators
we rationalize our own evil
the the
the people who join al Qaeda and ISIS
they are traumatized they are victims
and so they see the entirety of the West as their enemy
and they rationalize any kind of evil against them
those poor
rural people who feel forgotten and left behind
they see liberals they see immigrants
as people who have taken away their opportunity
and they've therefore
they are the enemy they and
and they have victimized rural America
white Christian America and so they've rationalized
hating them they've rationalized fearing them
they've rationalized taking their anger out
on them
I do want us to
look at what's happening take a step back
step outside of our emotional
you know that our heated emotional state
step back from
our anger our fear
and really try to reframe
how people have told us to look at the situation
maybe it's not the right way
maybe that's leading to this world
where we lack empathy for each other
because the right both the right and the left are
are right there is a
a lack of empathy
and we have to understand that this I
I fundamentally believe that most
if not all societal problems
stem from problems on the individual level
if we fix what's in us
then we can build stronger families
build stronger communities
build a stronger society
but it starts with us and situations like this
situations like this assassination
really are a a time for introspection
a time to really look at ourselves like
why do I feel the way I feel?
am I living up to who I wanna be?
who am I? who do I wanna be?
what are my values? what are those values I live by
that I will not compromise for anything?
it's it's times like this that
define who we are
right
life is constantly asking us that question
who are we?
who are you? who am I?
and it's it's the
those emotional reactions we have
it's those decisions that we make
those those words that we utter that show who we are
so if someone dies and we go on social media
and we say yeah
this man deserved it this man was evil
and he got what he deserved
that may say something about him
but it also says something about us
and this is the time to really take a few minutes and
decide who we are
decide who we want to be
I hope something here made sense
I hope something here touched your heart
because it's it's been a
it's been a crazy few days
I have to admit like I
I never thought I would have such a strong
emotional reaction to this
and such conflicting feelings about this
and you know
I've spent a couple days trying to process this
and now I'm really sharing what
the kind of thoughts I had around this issue
my own feelings my own
you know
how values have helped me kind of navigate this
and I hope something resonates
and I I love to hear what
you know how the
these last few days have been for you
and how you've processed this and
you know how
how you think we move forward from here
but thanks for listening
and I wish you guys always the best bye